Biblical Baby Mamas… – VIDEO

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Please consider supporting my work through Patreon here: http://www.patreon.com/DarkMatter2525 A bible favorite of mine. Shit’s about to get real, son. Pleas…

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DarkMatter2525

If you’re offended by this video, it’s because you choose to be. Your
mockery, angry comments, downthumbs, etc, mean nothing to me. You’ll always
be free here to express your opinions, and I wish you all well even if you
don’t wish the same for me. If I can take it, without want or need of
revenge, then why can’t “God”?

blah Gomez

Don’t listen to all those dumbass Christains DarkMatter. All of your vids
make me laugh so hard and these make me glad I’m an athiest. Keep making
vids you are awesome <3 <3

Mitchell Wiggs

What’s with the Christians complaining that this isn’t a video about Islam?
Like the nonsense of the Quaran is any worse than the nonsense of the
Bible.

QueenBoadicea

Actually, Laban’s excuse for giving Jacob Leah instead of Rachel was that
Leah was the older sister and the custom among his people was that the
eldest child should be married first…which is something he neglected to
tell Jacob when he first started working for Laban. I guess deceit is
something that runs in the family.

Geoffrey Brunell

What kind of idiot wrote Genesis 30:37-42, I mean seriously? Did they
actually think that mating animals in front of whìte branches would make
their offspring have white streaks? I don’t even think people in the 1800’s
would even think that. This just proves that Christianity was made up and
the bible was written by retarded people.

Hitchens HasRisen

“Hey Jeffrey, let’s fuck with ’em”

Lol, pin point example of the God of the Bible.

Gustav Rammelsberg

Who the duck names their child: “Hairy”.

EntheosGaming

This is stupid and out of context. Esau had already given his birthright to
Jacob before this event and I find it highly convenient you skipped over
that entire part of the story so your stab at religion held more ground to
the ignorant masses who watch this video without proper knowledge of the
whole story. This is ignorant at best and intentionally deceiving at worst.


michaelalexander8501

I am addicted to your videos. I have always raised an eyebrow at a lot of
christian ideology, but in fear of being labeled “the devil”, i only talked
about these things to certain people. I do believe in a higher power, but i
love learning things from an alternate perspective. your videos are very
informative, and really tackles the good stuff instead of using spiritual
psycho-babble to explain something that was just made up in the first
place. Please do a Power Corrupts series! Its a genius idea! Would make a
dope live action movie! 

Geoffrey Brunell

Why did Jacob even think that Leah was Rachel in the first place? Couldn’t
he just, I don’t know, maybe look at her to make sure that she is actually
Rachel!

Docktor Jim

All of these totally banged up things happened when God was in DIRECT
charge of the world, and yet Christians dismiss these stories because
they’re in the old testament. 

Thomas Dragt

….Geez, disrespect much?

AngelicaSpyro

This was in the bible, gross. What’s with all the ancient stories and
stuff about disgusting sexual acts?

Adrian Koehl

You must remember that even the bible was written by man and could have
been altered to fit man’s agenda for control or profit. The Hebrew bible is
what needs to be focused on and nothing else.

El Fueda

what the hell, you’re the engineer from Prometheus! you, sir, have just
been debunked, what an irony!

SillyPuddy2012

If there is a higher power, which I believe there is – though not in the form of an anthropomorphic man with a beard who swears liberally and talks to a winged sidekick, I don’t think that power had much to do with the stories of the Bible. Which was written by men, and rewritten again and again. So it’s fair game. And these “retellings” are pretty damn hilarious. By the way, while not ‘religious’, I watch Joel Osteen sermons most sundays and enjoy them… I suggest everyone believe what they believe, and not be dissuaded from their security in… Read more »

ThePharphis

Dem baby cannons make me laugh every time. They sound like the DKC
cannons..

ImParanoidAndroid

Why are you commenters being mean to Christians, I’m Christian and i find
this hilarious as fuck. 

Chris t

How come atheists have no desire to live an eternal life, Do they not enjoy
life now?

Marcus Cicero

Didn’t Esau already sell his birthright to Jacob for lentils prior to Jacob
“stealing it”?

TrapZone

xD Genesis 30:39: “And the flocks conceived before the rods, and brought
forth cattle ringstraked, speckled, and spotted.” This does NOT mean they
stared at the rods and it made them give birth to different colored
animals. It means that he made and area for them to conceive, and genetics
took a part and changed the color of the sheep. The color and type of
branch he used did not influence the outcome of color. They simply served
as an Old World hospital, if you will. Happy to clarify that! :)

Lee Johnson

Muslims who watch DarkMatter will not have multiple Wives in Heaven.

SheaSheaOnUrTUBE

All Sinners Commanded To Repent and Believe Jesus soundly declared the message in His day: “repent ye, and believe the gospel.” Repentance and faith are inseparable and occur simultaneously in a sinner’s heart; you cannot have one without the other. The order as given in the Bible is repentance and faith (Mark 1:15; Acts 20:21; 26:20; 2 Tim. 2:25; Heb. 6:1). Repentance is turning from sin; and faith is turning to Christ. Repentance comes about through the convicting power of the Spirit of God using the Word of God to cause a change of attitude, action, and affection. Saving faith… Read more »

Huskie Wuskie

I like tuna salad.

Misnomer W

It does seem even stupider when laid out like that lol

elgmalone

I don’t get the blessing thing. 

taylor liles

+DarkMatter2525 did you base rachel off of rachel green from friends? lmao

Tasha Jackson

I fucking love this series! As an athiest, this whole series backs up
everything I believe religion to be: a bunch of unfair and unrealistic
bullshit. Thanks, Darkmatter!! :D

Danielle Abundis

Do not take YAH’s name in vain. meaning don’t fool around with Him like this. It’s a commandment.. I’m in terror for you because i know Him and strangely He told me He really does love you.. Judgement is not His choice. We choose to condemn ourselves thinking we’re too far sour from turning around into His arms.. The only thing that separates us from Him is never coming to Him at all. Paul was like you, mocking Christians and putting them to death until Yahusha revealed Himself to Paul and Paul became known as the greatest apostle. He loves… Read more »

Nina Poizen

Lulz.

ninjast4r

Oh, I’ll be checking out JaclynGlenn, don’t you worry. *growl*

saad mrad

I dont understand why u think its okay to make fun of what millions believe
in specially what u have against their beliefs are theories and always stop
without a final answer

Scott Welsh

Actually if look at this story as an allegory for the rise of man it’s
kinda neat.
Man separates from and then betters his furry kin by domesticating animals
and wearing their fur as clothes.
He then leaves these dangerous creatures behind in Africa to migrate into
new regions.
He then further improves on his livestock through selective breeding.
..and then there is that competing wife stuff and bonking their servant
girls ..OK, it’s not perfect.

But it’s still better than the absurd literal interpretation as insisted on
by fundamentalist Christians.

It makes you wonder if some of this stems from ancestral memories perhaps
regarding interaction of modern humans with Neanderthals?

Victor Fernandez

this is so fucked up! lol
love this!

FirstName LastName

“X Rox” I’M DYING!!! LOOOOOLLLL!

SLENDERSPET

God will turn bad (these videos which Mock Christianity) into good. For He
delights in good. This video may be used as a tool to help bring people to
Christ.. :)

Embcii Bee

is it me or does RACHEL look like Jennifer Aniston lol

SheaSheaOnUrTUBE

I WILL ROAR I am your God, the Father God in Heaven and My wrath will not be held back any longer, for the enormity of this worlds sin is great. My arm of protection is no longer upon you, as you have chosen death over life. I am about to act mightily and in great power across this earth. You will know that your great disobedience brings this upon you. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth as I sweep across your nations. Woe to those who have repeatedly ignored My pleas and the pleas of My Son… Read more »

LotusGlowsPink

Love the videos! Keep it up :)

FaustTheVIII

very funny, bet Taco-Man did a funnier take on it I think, still… awesome
job dude

MegaMesPlay

Where people blind back then how did Jacob not see THE DEFERENCE!

Lockerdown3

I believe in a healthy balance between evolution and creationism, but this
is hilarious

Louis Emery

I watched this several times for the dialog. I like the expression “tasty
eats”. I’ll use it for my wife’s cooking.

quagmirecat

What is God fiddling with at 3:54?

Anthony Burke

As always, excellent video. And what a fucking stupid story from the bible.


NonConformist Nour

Before you kicketh the bucket hahahaha

Ari Coleman

Hey. I’m a pretty solid mormon, but this video is the first time i’ve been
able to understand the Abraham story. I love it. it’s really funny.

Can you make some videos from The Book Of Mormon?

תומר פלח

good video, but one point: jacob did wosiped god and eisav didnt sothere is
a resone for that god blesed jacob

Edwin Nathaniel

The problem with you bible believers is you do not question the nature and
ethics of these stories. You accept them as “divine” instead of seeing the
immorality associated with what the cartoon shows when the little guy
“Jeffrey” questions the rewarding of a “liar” (which is exactly what is in
your bibles). But since you accept it as “truth”, your morals are evident
and explains the serious suffering caused by your religion on the planet
with all of the wars and inquisition. You all justify them