Since late last year, I had been going through a strange sequence of life changes. Priorities and goals were changing before my very eyes. The strange thing is that I thought I had found myself in this relaxed “rhythm” in my life by then. I had been sailing Andiamo for about 7 years. Doing casual trips around San Blas the last three or so, meeting mostly great people, and even having some really fun and amazing adventures. I had somehow managed to get Andiamo working for me for a change, rather than the other way around. Trust me, that’s nothing short of a miracle. If you ask any boat owner if he thinks he’ll ever get “paid back” by his boat for everything he’s put into her, he’ll most likely laugh in your face.
Last year, despite me “working” Andiamo, I still managed to take about 12 weeks off. Much of it was spent on traveling to Europe, South America, and even places like Cuba. Needless to say, it was a great year. A year that was overdue after a couple of really trying ones,. Where I found myself struggling, at a time I didn’t think I’d ever have to struggle like that again. I found myself strangely happy with the way things had turned out. Even wondering if this was a rhythm I could maintain. Do 40 weeks of trips around the islands, and take 12 off venturing around the globe. Seemed like a great proposition to me.
Yet, here I am not repeating 2010. In some ways, I now have more freedom. But in other ways, I now have more responsibility.
Why couldn’t I just leave things be and do it all over again in 2011? Why couldn’t that be enough for me?
Here’s the short answer. It’s just not enough. At least not for me. My brain continues to come up with strange new concepts, challenges, writing ideas, business ideas, and passion projects, at an almost dizzying pace. I find myself wanting to embark on these lofty ventures and take them on. At a time in life that I thought I may get a bit “settled”, “tired” or not necessarily interested in new challenges, I find I’m anything but.
And that’s the thing. I had to admit to myself that all of what I had been doing wasn’t enough anymore. I had to move on to other things, and new challenges. While it’s easy to understand why people attempt that when they are doing things they don’t want to do, it’s not so easy to understand when people force a change when things are going well, doing things that they WANT to do.
It was time to move on. For better or for worse.