The valiant warriors patrolling our southern border with Mexico have once again saved the population of America from certain doom.
An armed militia group has accosted a group of assumed immigrants, possibly smugglers, camped out along the Mexican/American border. Fearlessly, these intrepid beer-swilling militia members confronted the group. With an unsurpassed show of force, our patriotic Billy-Bobs met this newest challenge to the national security of “Murica head on.
Alas, the Fates decreed that our heroes were, once again, mistaken. In a move reminiscent of a certain, ahem, soccer jersey incident, our blundering bozos managed to surround and intimidate a group of conservationists conducting a wildlife population survey. Santa Cruz County Sheriff Tony Estrada stated that the militia group was riding ATV’s, garbed in camouflage, and wielding weapons when they happened upon the group of scientists. Estrada stated, “Obviously, they mistook them for smugglers or illegal entrants.”
Well-played, conservative cuckoos. You, at least momentarily, have impeded the progress of one of the most insidious, heinous enemies of right wing nut jobs. Science, and undoubtedly the nefarious liberal agenda, were held at gun point for a heartbeat. You managed to save God-fearing white America from bespectacled nerds observing bats in their natural habitats. At least, long enough for the above mentioned nerds to hurl polysyllabic words at you, sending you into paroxysms of brain freeze.
The sheriff stated that one of the militia members attempted to apologize to the scientists, however, they “weren’t having any of it…” The biologists who were accosted state that the area in which they were encamped is a popular attraction, well-known to campers and hikers. The scientists fear further confrontations between buffoons masquerading as military and innocent bystanders.
This writer must confess a certain wicked hope that the alternative scenario of a bunch of Joe-Bobs meeting a group of Bubbas under the cover of desert darkness occurs. The dramatic possibilities of such a scene are endless. A true, pardon me for one second, “Mexican Stand-off”. The folly of poorly dressed, intellectually-challenged, racist “patriots” unleashed upon terrified humanity seeking sanctuary would, perhaps, be fully realized.
Rational, logical thought dictates that a tragedy will eventually occur. Gun control laws could circumvent loss of human life. Ammosexuals could return to their trailers, catch up on what the Robertson clan is preaching about this week. Lament free-range liberals from within the safety of their aluminum walls.
If slaughter in our public schools doesn’t effect rapid gun control legislation, murder at our border won’t impact the GOP’s love affair with the NRA either.
Watch the local news report from Tucson News Now.
H/T: Daily Kos
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